BLENDED FAMILY Lessons from a Walmart Morning

WHOEVER THAT DAD WAS...
HE SHAPED A CHILD'S FUTURE!
Follow this guys lead in your Blended Family.

It was a recent blustery, snow-filled Saturday morning and I was off to grab some waffle mix, eggs, milk and cantelope for a 'Dad's Waffle Breakfast Morning'.  Not enough Saturday's free, so I was excited to enjoy that family tradition.  Good 'bonding' time and hey, I even like my own waffles, so while the kids slept I went to Walmart early to grab the 'stuff'.

As I thought I would be in and out, little did I know I would leave the store with much more than food for family, but bigger than that...food for life.  To share with you.

While I was in the waffle mix aisle, I could not help but overhear the joyful voice, from the next aisle over, of a youngster repeating his Father's words and mentoring.  I heard the little voice say 'I am a happy boy!' repeating his Dad. Then it was 'I can grow up to do great things!' following the coaching, then an interesting comment that really sparked my interest,  'I look for the good in people!' followed by 'God made me special!'.

By this time those of you that know me, understand already that my cart was wheeling around the corner to go meet this 'Super Dad'.  Surely I thought I would find Zig Ziglar's first cousin, Anthony Robbins himself, or maybe just some high school football coach in a cap with a whistle around his neck who knew the power of inspiring his players.  Or perhaps one of those 'hired WalMart Greeter' people who usually are fairly fired up individuals themselves.  They seem to naturally have a smiley face on and love people thanks to Sam Walton's legacy.

You see the voice I heard, but could not see, from across the top of the waffle and cereal aisle divide certainly was certainly a character shaper and a giant of a man.  I wanted to meet him and shake his hand!  Tell him I love what I heard!

So when I spun my cart down that next aisle and looked ahead I did not see any of those wondermen of motivation I spoke of, but instead a man in a torn overcoat, scraggly beard and a weary walk.   After greeting the man and telling him how powerfully he impacted me from across the aisle top, he simply said 'I want Joey to grow up with more positive voices in his little head than I did'.  God's gonna make him better than me'.  Wow!  After hugging the man and telling him God's already blessed this little guy with you, I asked little Joey 'are you happy?'.  He smiled big and blurted out 'I'm a happy boy!'

I had earlier especially been taken by the boy following the wisdom of... "I look for the good in people". Worth repeating. 'Look for the good in people'.

Especially in stepfamilies, too often a parent or child is 'looking for error' in a relationship instead of following that wonderful wisdom...'look for the good'.

Blended Families or any family.   Learn from a scraggly bearded man, who might just have been an angel so I can share this story with you.  Encourage your children.  Be a positive and Godly force that echos into their future.

Scripture shares in Proverbs Chapter 17 and Verse 22...

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Go tell somebody THREE THINGS that you like about them.
It will be...good medicine.  And God just may give you one more step on the journey 'from Broken to Blended to BONDED'.

Visit our website    http://www.thebondedfamily.com/

Keep Looking UP!

Blended Family Tree

NOTE: Sunday, in our weekly Blended Family Fellowship Class ...Rebecca shared wonderfully about 'tree trunks'.  Made me think about a 2008 blog worth repeating.
 
See Your Blended Family Tree Grow

After a recent snow and ice storm, I helped my Father-in-law cut down and haul away a very large branch of a giant tree that he had planted long, long ago. It was a towering willow tree planted along a small lake. It had stood the test of time over 37 years. Now one of the willows large cut up branch lay ready to become firewood for our families. As I looked at the ‘tree rings’ depicting the chronology of that tree and the large branch, a smile came over me in a big way … there is a message for Blended Families in this tree.

Each year that a tree is alive it grows another ring, making its trunk wider. The thickness of each ring depends on what the weather, the climate, lightning strikes, fire damage or the storms were like during the year in which it grew that ring. A wide ring indicates faster growth (good conditions), whereas a narrow ring or scar of some sort indicates poor growth (bad conditions). When a tree is cut, the rings can be "read" like a diary of the ‘history of life’ of that tree. Families also can have ‘tree ring’ story in their chronology diary... and by God's hand we can have good growth.

In Blended Families we too have seasons of life or our own family ‘tree rings’. Often in blended families, despite being ‘branded’ broken, there is much joy, happiness and many good seasons, and yes occasionally some will probably be not so good. That is normal. Like all of life, God gives us seasons we go through in order to see His hand in our life. He wants us to know that placing our trust in HIM offers strength through all the seasons. So that our ‘tree rings’ will show genuine growth.

We encourage you to take this to heart in your step-family. Often times in divorce, remarriage and new blended family / step-family life the ‘storms’ seem to be just a little stronger, the ‘heat’ feels a little hotter, and the ‘winds’ seem to blow more powerfully against us, testing the strength of our tree. Parental interaction, children’s behavior and emotions, financial challenges, and cooperation with former spouses can all offer ‘climate’ that sometimes seems to try to knock down or knock out a family.

We encourage blended families / step-families who we coach through difficult situations to look first for patience, perseverance and victory through trusting God. We respect the secular viewpoints that offer insight into the dynamics of step-family life, yet as we have invested years of research, reading, interviews with families, and conversations with family therapists and professionals, we continue to find the real power is in God’s Hands. The foundation of your blended family, your ‘tree ring’ and family chronology success in this sense must be fully planted in the Word of God. The greatest growth of your tree ring can be found through planting, and your family by the streams of living water.

In Psalms 1: 1-3, we are offered perfect wisdom to follow;

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,

or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers.

So that your ‘blended family chronology’ will prosper, through the “storms” and “climate” challenges, you and your spouse must plant yourself as the parents ‘by the streams of living water’ and draw a line in the sand for your family by fully trust God. He is the root and the trunk, you are the branch. Then you may ‘see things with new eyes’ and ‘hear things with new ears’.We encourage blended families to look for God in all things, good and some seemingly bad, and keep your ‘roots’ firmly planted in prayer and in God’s Word daily. You can be ‘like the tree…which yields fruit in season, whose leaf does not wither. Do not walk in the counsel of negative people, or those who mock biblical wisdom. Stand strong, you will get through it. If you trust God, your tree will stand and reach up to the sky and one day you will see its fruit.

Our family tree, and our own blended family chronology, has had some thick rings with great years of growth, and some rings where you can sense the storms came. In all times, we kept the ‘roots’ planted in God’s Hands, even when the world might say we should crash. We have seen God’s goodness and His glory, and He has firmly planted in our hearts to pass along the encouragement, hope and motivation for you and your blended family.

STEPFAMILY WORKSHOPS - KANSAS CITY AREA

BLENDED FAMILIES Have Busy Schedules

Two November Options for a Stepfamily Workshop



Blended Family Calendars Can Be Hectic



My Wife Rebecca recently blogged with great experienced insight about the hectic pace and busy lives of blended families.  We know that our fellow stepfamily marriages can be filled with many scheduling commitments.

We've often heard from people who say 'I want to attend your TBF conference but we have the kids that weekend'.  Hmmmm....we get it.  So...we hopefully fixed that.

We have set up options for you on the back to back Saturday's Nov 13th and Nov 20th in the Kansas City area we are hosting a shortened one day only STEPFAMILY WORKSHOP.  One in Cass County (Harrisonville/South KC metro) and one in KC Metro area proper.

The topics and discussion are the same at either. (see below)  So choose which one fits your schedule.  ALSO...due to the challenging economic times, we have reduced the registration fees from $89 to $49.  Plus offer additional discounts to Military, Police, Fire, College or Seminary Students, Pastors, Grandparents (a new key area for family success) 

Some might say 'Well $49 is still a lot right now'.  Consider that you get 7+ hours of Practical Tips, Encouragement, the Value of 7 years of Research and Study, and over 60 years of real life combined stepfamily experience, a workbook, gifts, discount coupons worth savings around town, lunch, coffee and snacks...then that $7 an hour seems reasonable.  OR...some wait to go to $100 an hour therapist long after it's gotten worse in their family.  $49 is a GREAT INVESTMENT IN YOUR FAMILY. 

The OPPORTUNITY for a Grandparent, Friend, Co-Worker, Manager or Church Group to SPONSOR SCHOLARSHIPS for individuals is ENCOURAGED.

For Details and Register...click below and on the date you are interested in.

www.thebondedfamily.com

LEAVE THE STEPFAMILY WORKSHOP WITH:

• Improved StepParent-StepChild Relationships

• Greater Marriage Teamwork & Communication

• How to improve the co-parenting with 'other house'. ('The Ex')

• "What a Child Sees, Feels & Hears" - Hear from a Child of Divorce

• Family Court System Ideas, Suggestions and Coaching

• Blended Family Huddles and Bonding Traditions

• Greater Understanding of Stepfamily Dynamics

• Practical Tips to Succeed Week to Week

• Coaching & Sharing via Small Group Breakouts

• Answers from Multiple Live Q&A Sessions

After attending one of our conferences or workshops, people often say:
"I wish I knew THEN, what I've learned from you today NOW."

INVEST IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR FAMILY. 
Get 15 years of THEN...NOW.

For that wonderful blog of Rebecca's I spoke of:  http://www.blendedfamilyhope.com/

If you'd like to have your Church, Community Center, Hospital, Military Base or other group be a part of serving stepfamilies and the unique dynamics they face...contact us at: INFO@TheBondedFamily.com



Rebecca Snell on
Blended Family Today radio





REMEMBER...GOD CAN...
take your Stepfamily...

From Broken to Blended to BONDED.



God Bless YOU!  Keep Looking UP!

www.THEBONDEDFAMILY.com

BLENDED FAMILY INSPIRATION

Blended Families Finding Inspiration to Win!
'IF WE ONLY KNEW THEN, WHAT WE KNOW NOW!'
Blended Family Survey Helps Stepfamilies 'Know'.

"If we only knew in the first year of our blended family, what we've learned in your conference this weekend!"   We often hear this, or read in evaluations, from our conference attendees.  Why?  Because like most any profession, avocation, duty or responsibility in life, the more upfront one has a grasp of what they'll experience ahead, can carry with them some success tips, be knowledgeable of the unique dynamics of the situation, and have awareness of  potential 'landmines' the easier it is to manage the scenario.  It's not always 'what happens', but bigger how you 'respond to what happened' that can measure success in your family or life.

Our own personal 15 years of successes, AND failures too, in our own blended family taught us much as we seek to share in order to help others.  Putting that life experience together with research, study, reading, listening via focus groups, hosting conferences and workshops has taught us much.  We are happy to share every bit of expertise we gather to help other people just like you and your family.

"You can have everything in life you want, if you just help enough other people get what they want." ~ Zig Ziglar

For the last 30 years, Zig Ziglar has been the 'gold standard', the 'American Treasure' when it comes to sales and relationship expertise.   He has changed  the lives, and inspired the world across the globe like few others.

Companies turn to Ziglar Corp, led now by self described 'Proud Son' and equally encouraging Tom Ziglar as CEO, to deliver some of the very best corporate training in the nation.   We have been honored to work with Tom, Zig and Julie Ziglar Norman, Zig's youngest daughter, as they too have giant hearts for helping families prosper in America. Zig's classic books 'Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World' and 'Confessions of a Happy Christian' are two books we were blessed by long before ever meeting the Ziglars in person.  Tom Ziglar was the keynote speaker at our January 2010 Blended Family Luncheon.  Julie Ziglar Norman has spoken at our stepfamily conferences and she, along with her inspiring husband Jim Norman, share their very special testimony of success in stepfamily life.

At The Bonded Family we have one purpose.  To extend Encouragement, Hope, Inspiration and Biblical insight to the 23+ million homes in America.  Over 140 million Americans go to bed each and every night facing some form of stepfamily dynamic challenge.   There is a way to reduce the wounds, stress, conflict and pain.  Our mission is to share that nationally.  If we could bring 10% of the inspiration, confidence and encouragement that our friends the Ziglar's did in this world then we will feel blessed mightily. 

As part of the ongoing research we do, quarterly we conduct a BLENDED FAMILY SURVEY.

Please click on this BLENDED FAMILY SURVEY, invest 90 seconds to fill it out.  You'll help us serve families. Strictly confidential.  No names or email request.   If you are not in a stepfamily environment, forward this to someone who is.  They'll truly appreciate you caring enough to think of them this hour.

As the population and awareness of stepfamily dynamics grows, more and more are seeing the glass isn't half empty, but indeed for blended families it can be half full, and why not make it overflow!  Divorce, remarriage and struggle is not God's perfect plan for life, yet He does love us and does have a plan that we can follow to succeed in our 2nd chances. 

In the meantime....we ENCOURAGE You to KEEP LOOKING UP!

Visit our website at: www.thebondedfamily.com
Follow us on TWITTER :  www.twitter.com/blendedfamilies

FOLLOW TOM ZIGLAR ALONG WITH 34,000+ others at:  www.twitter.com/TomZiglar

Please Help CHARGE UP our Blended Family Efforts!

EVER FEEL WEARY IN YOUR STEP-FAMILY DYNAMICS?

EVERY WISH YOU COULD GET YOUR FAMILY RE-CHARGED?

COULD YOU USE SOME GOOD NEWS!

That's what we try to do on a weekly basis via this Blended Family Today blog, our BLENDED FAMILY TODAY radio broadcasts and free podcasts, as well as conferences, coaching, mediation and resources.  Find those and more information at www.thebondedfamily.com

To keep things rolling with any organization, some form of revenue is needed.  We work to keep registrations to conferences and resource prices as low as possible.  So when you see us once in a while with brief promotions like this, please know we are just trying to fund operations.

We discovered a way to help that revenue effort, and for you to also help our cause.  We have partnered with Interstate Batteries, a nationally recognized name who just happens to have a CEO who is a strong man of faith.   They will pay us a small percentage of the battery sales we do, even while keep their BATTERY PRICES DISCOUNTED +++ FREE SHIPPING.   Please click below.  They have ALL KINDS OF BATTERIES.  You need batteries right?  Instead of waiting until you are out, buy them now.  With FREE SHIPPING it is less than using gas to drive to the store.  Click to check it out.  Let us know what you think.

If YOU RIGHT NOW, would buy some batteries, and the other thousands of readers would buy some batteries, you'd be saying THANKS for us blogging and PAYING FORWARD your support of another stepfamily that might need some help down the road.

 

Please help us help blended families by CHARGING UP your house and funding up our mission. THANK YOU and God Bless Your Family!

Set the Plans. A VACATING PLAN for your Blended Family! 'Vacating' = Bonding Time! http://ping.fm/mfxmx

Blended Families Should Get "5G" Coverage

  Blended Families Work Best With Super '5G Communication'.

5G Provides Total Coverage' for your Family's Heart.
Get 'The Best Plan' When You Say "I am a Friend of God"!
 

Forget 3G.  We say 'move over 4G'.  If you want the most powerful signal that always works, always communicates, always is up and available, you can get it.   The Bonded Family presents 5G for blended families.

What is 5G you ask?  It's the Global, Grace, Glory & Goodness of God.  Get it?5G coverage.  It's available FREE.  All you have to do is ask Him for it.

Remember the old spirited song 'He's got the whole world, in His hands, He's got you and me sister, in His hands....'?  Well for this coverage that's the Truth.

Stepfamilies often face unique and challenges dynamics.  Marriages and Children often throw up their hands, get wounded, mad, misunderstood or speak from a hurt heart.  Then sometimes they let stubbornness or pride set in.  The world and culture seem to often foster adversarial situations, or even roadblocks to cooperation, understanding, patience or perseverance.  The Court System is NOT the answer.  They have neither the time nor interest in really creating true family success.  So look UP!  That's where we have seen God's love and redeeming qualities for families stand alone as the answer.   The success rate in those having a foundation of faith is almost three times as strong as those without. 

It's easy to look at blended family struggles and relationships with a skeptical, can't work, don't want to try, this marriage is not pleasing me, there's no hope for this child or that stepchild, or on and on.  The statistics show almost 70% say 'I quit' in stepfamilies.  Then... all we do is recyle the pain the hurt and the long term wounds for children and adults.  No one wants that.  That's why we started The Bonded Family ministry.

With "5G Coverage", you have a Friend in God who knows, cares, understands, wants to help, encourage, bless and give you victory in your marriage, family and life.  He provides the Life Manual.  The Bible IS the best marriage handbook, parenting guide, relationship advisor, finance counselor or pschology book around.  There is a reason it's the all-time best selling book in history. 

It is always a privilege to speak to groups to encourage them to support and strengthen families or their hearts.  I WANT TO GIVE SPECIAL THANKS to the Men's Ministry at Scheffield Family Life Center in Kansas City for a great evening recently.  While their worship team was playing and praising about the Glory of God is when the whole "5G idea" was plopped into my heart by God.  Music is a way God often inspired through history and still does today.  So thanks to all at Scheffield Family Life Center !

To Learn more about our work visit http://www.thebondedfamily.com/

Remember I said that you and I can both say...
"I am a Friend in God"... well enjoy the song and be blessed.

Keep Looking UP!