Neither Myth is True...So Live Victoriously!
We own a black cat also.
Our culture has developed the attitude that blended families don't work... and somehow think that black cats are unlucky. Both these premises are man created MYTHS.
God didn't create black cats, nor stepfamilies, to be bad, evil or full of potential woesome results. Man's imagination + "stinkin' thinkin'" did.
This morning our 17 year old black cat Crash (would take a whole blog to explain why that name) was walking back and forth in front of our youngest daughter Amanda. She laughed and said 'Wow, Crash has walked back and forth in front of me 5 times so I'll have 35 years bad luck'. We all laughed. Crashed looked at us - he holds a very communicative personality - and barked 'meow'. Crash does seem to bark when he knows he's being talked about. I was one of those 'don't like cats' guys until this feline was adopted away from homelessness. Crash is my buddy. I admit it. Cat-lovers cheer here.
So what does the black cat myth and blended families have in common? Cats are very consistent in their behavior. Depending on their 'personality' that can appear to be 'aloof', or maybe 'playful', 'standoff-ish' or sometimes 'mean-spirited'. Cats actually can be very loyal buddies if you treat them right and 'invest' a little time bonding with them.
Often personalities and relationship dynamics within blended families can be the same. Each child is unique, somewhat different in their own special way. Thus relationships should be developed and nurtured differently. Some will come quicker, some may take years. Perseverance is a foundational word you hear a lot from our team at The Bonded Family. Perseverance comes from trusting God. Seeing what happens when you 'let go and let God'. Remember this saying when you feel exasperated or there is no hope. "God's not done".
It's also a real 'myth' that stepparents and stepchildren can't get along. Just like spending time with a kitten will help one 'bond' with the cat, we recommend that you 'invest time' to discover what talents and treasure each child holds. What are their dreams, hopes and wishes? Don't simply buy into the negative stepfamily myths. The more you understand your unique or complex family situation - and that is one of the goals at The Bonded Family - the more success you will have. Understanding behavior is key. It's why people share with us after our conferences "I wish we knew THEN what we've learned from you NOW".
Putting a stake in the ground and committing your marriage and family into God's hands is the absolute success criteria foundation. Without it...you are built on sandy soil. Some will 'turn away' right now reading this saying 'Oh that God stuff', yet the fact are the facts, the true stats are there. Write us and ask about them. firstname.lastname@example.org
Our children hear often that rock solid advice for VICTORY in life...
"ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING"
Scripture also holds a verse that speaks to VICTORIOUS LIVING.
PROVERBS 15:15 shares...
Work on your heart. Discipline your mind. See the good in all people. Look for the good in all situations. Discover the good where you can't see it at first. Guard against feeling 'afflicted' or you 'days will be bad'. INSTEAD... say to yourself and ask God to strengthen you and give you a CHEERFUL HEART so that your days and life - and your blended family - will feel as a 'CONTINUAL FEAST''All the days of the afflicted are bad,
But a cheerful heart has a continual feast.'
Sometimes that takes coaching. We can help.
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