SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! Blended Families CAN WIN!

SUPER SUNDAY!
Giants - Patriots?  
Be Enthusiastic That...
The Clock is Still Running...
On Your Blended Family 
BIGGEST VICTORIES!

Sometimes in the dynamics of stepfamily life, we often feel like an 'underdog' role in our families.  Parents or children are often in an 'arena of life' that presents itself with bumps and challenges. We wish there were referee's sometimes.  Somebody to 'blow the whistle' or 'throw a penalty flag'.  This blog entry is about how to find our way to victory..... in the Super Bowl of life.  Even if you feel ONE YARD SHORT...remember... GOD'S NOT DONE!  CLOCK IS STILL TICKING.

Speaking of Super Bowl participants, I want to share a fantastic book and it's relationship to step-family life. In the last few years it has been my privilege and honor to get to know Coach Les Steckel, who is the President / CEO of FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). In 2006 he authored his autobiography entitled 'ONE YARD SHORT, Turning Your Defeats into Victories'. It is a 'must read book' for blended family parents. The title is derived from the final play of the 2000 Super Bowl between the St. Louis Rams and Steckel’s Titans, a play that has been called the most exciting play in Super Bowl history. (I remember our family - half cheering the Rams, half cheering the Titans - as our blended family of eight watched that incredible sports moment.)

Steckel’s book chronicles his life journey and his compelling stories and testimony makes it tough to put down once you start. I am in the middle of reading the book currently. It is a 'MEGA-ENCOURAGEMENT BLESSING' book that offers us yet another testimony to trusting in God and His incredible Hand. Anyone in a blended family, adult or teen should read this book. It isn't just a sports book, a guy book, it's a life book. Moms, Grandmas and Daughters will love it also.

HOW DOES "ONE YARD SHORT" RELATE TO BLENDED FAMILY LIFE? Often in the dynamics of stepfamily life one feels like you are often behind, things look tough, it is 'fourth down', that you want to 'punt' and hope seems lost. That's when we really do need to 'put on our headset and call upstairs to get the next play to call'. What I mean by that is to 'look to God for your next move, how to handle a child or marriage scenario'. He will answer. He may not always give us the 'play' we want to call, but the PLAYBOOK (BIBLE) we are called to draw from does not offer mistaken advice. Check out the playbook of life (the Bible).

Find a Bible that holds in the back a "Concordance" or 'topics list'. There you can find answers to blended family common questions in areas like... patience, perseverance, hope, forgiveness, self-discipline, encouragement and most of all the promise you can trust of 'peace that surpasses all understanding.'

YES YOU CAN be a Super Bowl Champion-like Blended Family if you let our Lord God Almighty lead you in calling the signals in your family. Check out your playbook (Bible) today.

For more information on Coach Les Steckel and FCA, go to:
http://www.fca.org/AboutFCA/ExecutiveTeam.lsp

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Want to explore hosting a Blended Family Workshop at your Church or in your Community?
Write: info@thebondedfamily.com

Blended Family Getaway in Colorado!

36 Hours Left to Register ----  THIS WEEKEND! 
ONLY TWO SPOTS LEFT!  Renew Your Marriage and Family.
Blended Family Getaway - Workshop and Retreat for Couples
Colorado Weekend Offers Renewal, Rest and Rediscovering Purpose

Mention the word 'Colorado' and 9 out of 10 people will get a big smile, rise to attention and enthusiastically say they 'love Colorado' using descriptive words like majestic, fun, peaceful, special and foremost relaxing and renewing to their hearts.

That's why THIS WEEKEND April 1st through the 3rd we are bringing blended family couples to HORN CREEK CAMP in Colorado for a special couples weekend called 'BLENDED FAMILY GETAWAY - a Workshop, Retreat and Renewal time for couples seeking to better 'bond' their blended family (stepfamily).

More information quickly at: www.thebondedfamily.com/horncreek

The Horn Creek facility is nestled in the Rocky Mountains about 80 minutes southwest of Colorado Springs.  The Meadows cabins, the part of the camp we will be at, is the newest part of the complex and holds a special mountain lodge feel that will allow for relaxing and learning at the same time.  We purposefully built in lots of husband and wife getaway time into the weekend. 

You can arrive early on Friday morning at the camp to take advantage of the recreation center with a full basketball, bowling, rock climbing, internet cafe, volleyball and other amenities. Our formal workshop sessions together begin Friday evening 6:30 to 9:30, then Saturday AM from 9:00 to 11:30, then Saturday evening 6:30 to 10:00 with a campfire after that.  Sunday morning service at 9:30 AM allows still for time before leaving camp later in the day.  So adding up time you can just 'take in the mountains' could be up to 24 hours apart from the group alone if you choose.  There will be group activities, fun games, tournament competition if you choose to participate.

IMPORTANTLY...the SUPER RATE we've partnered with Horn Creek to offer you.  For $269 a couple (yes that's not per person, but per couple) you will get three (3) great days and two (2) nights at the cabins, ALL your meals, coffee and snacks during the workshops, use of the camp facilities, couples pictures in the mountains taken by TBF staff members for your memories, PLUS 8+ hours of blended family fun and informative workshops from some of the leading authorities in the nation on stepfamily dynamics. Where else can you get a hotel, all your food, training and a 'view' like that for $269 per couple.  We say 'Thank You Horn Creek' for delivering a great weekend getaway partnership.



If you are a Grandparent, Family member, Co-Worker or Friend of a Couple you know could use a boost in their blended family situation, consider SPONSORING a couple to this special weekend.

 http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/wyoming/rocky-mountains
Special Thanks toDestination360 for this pic.

                                                                                                                

How are your Blended Family world windows?

Blended Family Life can be a place for a 'Fresh Start'

Do YOU know a Stepfamily that could use a boost?

SEE them with 'new windows' from your heart.

*** NOTE *** A struggling couple we are coaching mentioned their 'neighbors', even people at their own church, seemed to be judgmental about their new marriage and blended family.  Even felt like they were being 'whispered' about. This hurts. Anyone who has walked through divorce, single parenthood and now perhaps blended family life knows firsthand the sometimes 'branded-ness' (by some) of the situation.  Our tag line is 'from broken to blended to bonded'. Sometimes 'branded' is part of that brokenness. Remember, God doesn't make mistakes. Keep Looking UP!

TWO STORIES TO ENCOURAGE YOU TODAY:

(First a story I read multiple places online a couple of years ago.
Knew it might serve others one day.)

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. 
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. 

"That laundry is not very clean", she said. 
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly. 

Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." 

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.  Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,  the young woman would make the same comments. 

See a Blended Family next door?

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.  I wonder who taught her this." 
The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." 

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

ENCOURAGING 2nd story from scripture... John 8 : 1-12

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

Blended Family Fresh Starts

 But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

My wonderful wife Rebecca often mentions that she wonders if Jesus, as he knelt and was writing in the dust of the ground, was actually writing the 'shortcomings' and 'sins' of the Pharisees.  Or perhaps to share with the woman, right where she is at, that she was free to go and begin anew in her life.  

We certainly understand why God states in Malachi that He hates divorce.  We do too.  The ripples it causes His people for generations is not His plan.  But it is not an unpardonable sin, nor a place where others can condemn if you truly are seeking a 'new beginning'.  SO BE ENCOURAGED!  GOD LOVES YOU!  HAS A GREAT PLAN FOR YOU!  BELIEVE IN HIM!

Whether it's your own house windows or the public square, where is your heart.  Help a marriage, a child, a neighbor, co-worker or fellow church member rise up above their circumstance and see the 'fresh starts' that God offers them.

We are here to help:  www.thebondedfamily.com   We know you can do it.  If God believes in you and is for you, who can be against you?  We'll help you become 'overcomers' in your family setting like you've never believed you could.  We offer practical tips and the inspiration to 'keep on, keepin' on'.   That's the key.  Not just in the techniques but in the special touch and strength of God.

PERHAPS A GRANDPARENT, NEIGHBOR, FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER?   Consider a SPONSORSHIP / SCHOLARSHIP to our upcoming Colorado weekend April 1-3.  Call a family member or some couple you know struggling and say 'we want to send you to Colorado for a fresh start'.  www.tbfcolorado.eventbrite.com

BLENDED FAMILY ENCOURAGEMENT - "THE 511"

"THE 511"
Encouragement for Step-Families....
from a Terrific Coaching Manual

Last weekend we hosted another Blended Family Conference. We sometimes refer to them as 'B3 Conferences'.  We want step-families TO SEE that GOD IS ABLE to take them 'from Broken to Blended to Bonded!'.   Incredible couples in attendance.  Gifted speakers that truly spoke to the hearts of those there.  

It was Saturday morning early and I was reviewing in my mind my afternoon message.  Was pondering... "how do I truly encourage and lift up these marriages and families?".   Then I know the Lord 'plopped' into my heart, mind and soul (God has an awesome "Plopper" - the Holy Spirit), to look up a verse that 'plopped' to me about 'encouraging one another'.  

So I get to the conference center - in this case the wonderful and supportive First Baptist Raytown, who provided tremendous support and assistance - and I grabbed my Bible.  I knew that in the back of my Bible, in the blank pages, where I write down great scripture to remember, I had an 'encouragement' scripture. 

What a 'terrific life coaching manual' the Bible is.

There it was 1st Thessalonians 5:11...

'Therefore encourage one another
and build each other up...'

Then it hit me.  1st Thessalonians 5:11. Shortened up... "THE 511".  "THE 511"!    We all know call 911 in an emergency, call 411 for information, some places 811 is for digging info, 311 in New York offers NY services and info.  Some states do have 511 as road, roadside support or travel information.  Well, that's pretty good for an analogy for the 'blended family journey' huh?   We are on a journey.  And our "511' can assist you on that blended family road to success, and simply stated... "THE 511" is...  

Encourage one another.  Build each other up.   Don't our children truly need that?  How about your spouses?  It's been studied that for every one negative thing you say to a child, in most kids it takes ten positive affirmations or comments to strengthen back their spirits.  Goes for spouse too. 10 to 1 ratio.

Often times we focus on the negative in our families.  See the good.  Plant 'seeds' that will grow goodness.

How about if you are a Grandparent or a relative in a step-family situation?  Wouldn't it be powerful if you ENCOURAGED your son, daughter, sister, brother, niece, nephew, grandchild.  Due to the often challenging dynamics of blended family life, a word to BUILD UP the spirit of another would be a GIANT GIFT.

We work with Grandparents a lot, give them discounts to attend our conferences. www.thebondedfamily.com/grandparents

Our Daughter Amanda, while hearing Dad pontificate on 'THE 511" drew the below sketch as she set with us last Sunday in our Blended Family Fellowship at church.  We continue to be amazed at her 'eyes that see'.   Her sketch below shares a cell phone on the left with the numbers 511 on it...and the words'... 'we are on a difficult road.  We need to call the 511'.

I'd like to encourage you to read the entire Chapter Five of 1st Thessalonians.  Only nineteen short verses.  You'll find words that truly should be compelling for blended families.  Words and phrases like 'self control' (wise counsel in the heat of a moment), 'be patient', 'be kind to each other', don't pay back wrong doing with wrong doing', 'God did not appoint us to suffer', 'Be joyful always', 'pray continually' and here is one to think about and take to heart...'give thanks in all circumstances'.    Learn from the good and learn from the bad.

As part of your 'journey', we encourage you to continually reach out for resources like The Bonded Family and others.  As Americans we strive to get better in work, in sports, in health, in many areas... SO... PAY ATTENTION HERE!  Do it with your blended family life.  It's the most important.

Encourage yourself to read, listen and learn about how to be the very best you can be and to create in your new family a spirit of T.E.N. - TOGETHERNESS, ENCOURAGEMENT and NURTURING.    I'm not saying you'll be a 'Perfect 10 Family', yet if you simply strive to do those three... you're on your way!

Keep Looking UP!  

DAN

 P.S.   If you know someone in the Wichita KS area in a blended family, and facing stepfamily challenges, send them to www.thebondedfamily.com to check out our Saturday May 1st Blended Family Conference, featuring Zig Ziglar's daughter Julie Ziglar Norman and her husband Jim, nationally recognized comedian J.J. Jasper, Russ and Jackie Jones, the Founders and Publishers of the Christian Press, Al and Kay Betz of Outfluence.com.   Rebecca and I are excited to be joined by these talented and gifted speakers.  Again for more information as to the topics and to register go to:  www.thebondedfamily.com and click on the Wichita conference.