Welcome to a Blog for Blended Families !

Blended Families often seek Encouragement, Hope, Motivation and Insight. Join us here each week for practical & powerful ways to rise up & defeat those challenges that can weaken, damage or destroy your family.
.................... God has a plan for victory for YOU! ....................

Friday, May 31, 2013

Obama 2nd Term like Blended Family Trials?

President Obama. Benghazi.  IRS.  AP. 
Bumps in the Journey are Appearing Weekly.
The topic of this blog post is Politics and Divorce. I'm not going to lambast any President. Don't believe in that.  Blended Family life is my the tie in here, or I wouldn't write.  A 2nd term for Presidents often holds bumps just as 2nd marriages do. Stepfamily life can lead to the 'opposition' pointing out all mistakes... broadcasting faults, slip ups, blame and antagonism.  Pointing fingers.
 
Sadly, ugly partisan politics permeates America today.  Turn on your TV... it's Republican vs. Democrats.  White House vs. Congress.  Conservative vs. Liberal.  Right vs. Left.  One side 'hungry' for the other sides slips.
 
For the purpose of this blog - while I hold an opinion on American leadership - I will move to the point. The wounds of divorce hurt children, as they are often damaged by the 'politics', games, maneuvering, court and custody struggles.  In blended family life the #1 'developing family', in a stepfamily, challenge - as measured in a survey of over 1000 blended families - was 'antagonism, indoctrination (PAS) or negative influence' from former spouses.  We've seen it in almost every 'touch' we have with new blended family marriage that is struggling.  "Reaching in" we call it.  It feels like a 'giant hand of negativity' reaching into a home, trying to manipulate feelings, rules, finances, relationships, respect and authority.
 
WHY is their often an effort to hurt the other home? "Hurting People Hurt People".   Pride. Selfishness. Need to Control. Anger.  One or both sides believe they have to be the 'better' or 'main parent'.  Communicating, sharing or mutual respect does not exist in their thinking.  This type of behavior diminishes victory for children of divorce in their lives.  Yet such destructive behavior permeate divorce and new blended family relationships.  No one wins.  Most everyone loses. Children, and the long term effect on them, get hurt the worst.
 
There is a cycle of thinking for you to review in your life, relationships and marriage.  Especially when working with your former spouse.  The "stinkin' thinkin'" checkup to do is this....
"FOR ME TO BE THE GOOD PARENT... 
                 THEY MUST BE A BAD PARENT"
If you find yourself needing the other parent, their spouse (stepparent) or their home life to be bad...check your heart.  What are you finding in YOUR HEART?  Shared parenting, respect, following guidelines, communicating and honoring the other parent, their new marriage (if one) and the opportunity for their 'Family' to succeed is impacted by the other home.  Follow the Golden Rule.  How would you like to be treated?

So...for  AMERICAN POLITICS or DIVORCE or BLENDED FAMILY skirmishes... there is ONLY ONE SOLUTION.  And that is...
"FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS and NOT THE OTHER SIDES PROBLEMS". 

Got it?  Get it?  GOOD.


The Bible shares - as always - some great wisdom on negativity.

In Ephesians 4:31-32 the message is clear...

'Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor,
and evil speaking, be put away from you,
along with all malice;

And be you kind one to another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another,
even as God has forgiven'

Check your heart.  I have to constantly check mine. 
And...Always... Keep Looking UP! God is there.

1 comment:

selffamily said...

I love this! I stumbled across your blog while trying to find other blended families out there. I too have a blog that I write about our journey on...although we have been on ours for a much shorter time. Thanks so much!