Welcome to a Blog for Blended Families !

Blended Families often seek Encouragement, Hope, Motivation and Insight. Join us here each week for practical & powerful ways to rise up & defeat those challenges that can weaken, damage or destroy your family.
.................... God has a plan for victory for YOU! ....................

Friday, May 31, 2013

Obama 2nd Term like Blended Family Trials?

President Obama. Benghazi.  IRS.  AP. 
Bumps in the Journey are Appearing Weekly.
The topic of this blog post is Politics and Divorce. I'm not going to lambast any President. Don't believe in that.  Blended Family life is my the tie in here, or I wouldn't write.  A 2nd term for Presidents often holds bumps just as 2nd marriages do. Stepfamily life can lead to the 'opposition' pointing out all mistakes... broadcasting faults, slip ups, blame and antagonism.  Pointing fingers.
Sadly, ugly partisan politics permeates America today.  Turn on your TV... it's Republican vs. Democrats.  White House vs. Congress.  Conservative vs. Liberal.  Right vs. Left.  One side 'hungry' for the other sides slips.
For the purpose of this blog - while I hold an opinion on American leadership - I will move to the point. The wounds of divorce hurt children, as they are often damaged by the 'politics', games, maneuvering, court and custody struggles.  In blended family life the #1 'developing family', in a stepfamily, challenge - as measured in a survey of over 1000 blended families - was 'antagonism, indoctrination (PAS) or negative influence' from former spouses.  We've seen it in almost every 'touch' we have with new blended family marriage that is struggling.  "Reaching in" we call it.  It feels like a 'giant hand of negativity' reaching into a home, trying to manipulate feelings, rules, finances, relationships, respect and authority.
WHY is their often an effort to hurt the other home? "Hurting People Hurt People".   Pride. Selfishness. Need to Control. Anger.  One or both sides believe they have to be the 'better' or 'main parent'.  Communicating, sharing or mutual respect does not exist in their thinking.  This type of behavior diminishes victory for children of divorce in their lives.  Yet such destructive behavior permeate divorce and new blended family relationships.  No one wins.  Most everyone loses. Children, and the long term effect on them, get hurt the worst.
There is a cycle of thinking for you to review in your life, relationships and marriage.  Especially when working with your former spouse.  The "stinkin' thinkin'" checkup to do is this....
                 THEY MUST BE A BAD PARENT"
If you find yourself needing the other parent, their spouse (stepparent) or their home life to be bad...check your heart.  What are you finding in YOUR HEART?  Shared parenting, respect, following guidelines, communicating and honoring the other parent, their new marriage (if one) and the opportunity for their 'Family' to succeed is impacted by the other home.  Follow the Golden Rule.  How would you like to be treated?

So...for  AMERICAN POLITICS or DIVORCE or BLENDED FAMILY skirmishes... there is ONLY ONE SOLUTION.  And that is...

Got it?  Get it?  GOOD.

The Bible shares - as always - some great wisdom on negativity.

In Ephesians 4:31-32 the message is clear...

'Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor,
and evil speaking, be put away from you,
along with all malice;

And be you kind one to another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another,
even as God has forgiven'

Check your heart.  I have to constantly check mine. 
And...Always... Keep Looking UP! God is there.

Sunday, February 3, 2013


SUPER SUNDAY!  Ravens-49'ers 
Super Bowl Blended Families Stepfamilies Stepmom 49'ers Ravens

As With This Super Bowl,
You Can Be Sure That...
The Clock's Still Running
On Your Blended Family


Sometimes in the dynamics of stepfamily life, we often feel like an 'underdog' role in our families.  Parents or children are often in an 'arena of life' that presents itself with bumps and challenges. We wish there were referee's sometimes.  Somebody to 'blow the whistle' or 'throw a penalty flag'.  This blog entry is about how to find our way to victory..... in the Super Bowl of life.  Even if you feel ONE YARD SHORT...remember... GOD'S NOT DONE!  CLOCK IS STILL TICKING.

Speaking of Super Bowl participants, I want to share a fantastic book and it's relationship to step-family life. In the last few years it has been my privilege and honor to get to know Coach Les Steckel, who is the President / CEO of FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). In 2006 he authored his autobiography entitled 'ONE YARD SHORT, Turning Your Defeats into Victories'. It is a 'must read book' for blended family parents. The title is derived from the final play of the 2000 Super Bowl between the St. Louis Rams and Steckel’s Titans, a play that has been called the most exciting play in Super Bowl history. (I remember our family - half cheering the Rams, half cheering the Titans - as our blended family of eight watched that incredible sports moment.)

Steckel’s book chronicles his life journey and his compelling stories and testimony makes it tough to put down once you start. I am in the middle of reading the book currently. It is a 'MEGA-ENCOURAGEMENT BLESSING' book that offers us yet another testimony to trusting in God and His incredible Hand. Anyone in a blended family, adult or teen should read this book. It isn't just a sports book, a guy book, it's a life book. Moms, Grandmas and Daughters will love it also.

HOW DOES "ONE YARD SHORT" RELATE TO BLENDED FAMILY LIFE? Often in the dynamics of stepfamily life one feels like you are often behind, things look tough, it is 'fourth down', that you want to 'punt' and hope seems lost. That's when we really do need to 'put on our headset and call upstairs to get the next play to call'.  What I mean by that is to 'look to God for your next move, how to handle a child or marriage scenario'. He will answer. He may not always give us the 'play' we want to call, but the PLAYBOOK (BIBLE) we are called to draw from does not offer mistaken advice. Check out the playbook of life (the Bible).

Find a Bible that holds in the back a "Concordance" or 'topics list'. There you can find answers to blended family common questions in areas like... patience, perseverance, hope, forgiveness, self-discipline, encouragement and most of all the promise you can trust of 'peace that surpasses all understanding.'

YES YOU CAN be a Super Bowl Champion-like Blended Family if you let our Lord God Almighty lead you in calling the signals in your family. Check out your playbook (Bible) today.

For more information on Coach Les Steckel and FCA, go to:


More TV’s were tuned into the 2012 Super Bowl then ever before.  According to the Nielsen ratings system, Super Bowl XLVI viewership of 111.3 million viewers broke all records to become the most-watched TV telecast of all time.
We are a nation of football fans. We are also a nation of changing family dynamics and structure. Blended Families, often called ‘Stepfamilies’, has become the largest family demographic in the USA. 
In America today there are over 23+ million stepfamily households.  It is the largest ‘under the radar’ demographic in the USA, and one that grows daily with over by approximately 2000 new stepfamilies formed per day.  While the Super Bowl viewership can list 111.3 million viewers, the population of people living - or directly associated to in their immediate family - in stepfamilies is over 160+ million.  One could say it is a ‘Super vs. Uber’ size comparison.  If you are reading this and you are a part of (husband, wife, child, grandparent, etc) blended family nation and this ‘uber’ population, you are not alone. 

YOU and YOUR FAMILY are not alone.  There are people and organizations that exist to serve and help you.