Welcome to a Blog for Blended Families !

Blended Families often seek Encouragement, Hope, Motivation and Insight. Join us here each week for practical & powerful ways to rise up & defeat those challenges that can weaken, damage or destroy your family.
.................... God has a plan for victory for YOU! ....................

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Blended Family Getaway in Colorado!

36 Hours Left to Register ----  THIS WEEKEND! 
ONLY TWO SPOTS LEFT!  Renew Your Marriage and Family.

Blended Family Getaway - Workshop and Retreat for Couples
Colorado Weekend Offers Renewal, Rest and Rediscovering Purpose

Mention the word 'Colorado' and 9 out of 10 people will get a big smile, rise to attention and enthusiastically say they 'love Colorado' using descriptive words like majestic, fun, peaceful, special and foremost relaxing and renewing to their hearts.

That's why THIS WEEKEND April 1st through the 3rd we are bringing blended family couples to HORN CREEK CAMP in Colorado for a special couples weekend called 'BLENDED FAMILY GETAWAY - a Workshop, Retreat and Renewal time for couples seeking to better 'bond' their blended family (stepfamily).

More information quickly at: www.thebondedfamily.com/horncreek

The Horn Creek facility is nestled in the Rocky Mountains about 80 minutes southwest of Colorado Springs.  The Meadows cabins, the part of the camp we will be at, is the newest part of the complex and holds a special mountain lodge feel that will allow for relaxing and learning at the same time.  We purposefully built in lots of husband and wife getaway time into the weekend. 

You can arrive early on Friday morning at the camp to take advantage of the recreation center with a full basketball, bowling, rock climbing, internet cafe, volleyball and other amenities. Our formal workshop sessions together begin Friday evening 6:30 to 9:30, then Saturday AM from 9:00 to 11:30, then Saturday evening 6:30 to 10:00 with a campfire after that.  Sunday morning service at 9:30 AM allows still for time before leaving camp later in the day.  So adding up time you can just 'take in the mountains' could be up to 24 hours apart from the group alone if you choose.  There will be group activities, fun games, tournament competition if you choose to participate.

IMPORTANTLY...the SUPER RATE we've partnered with Horn Creek to offer you.  For $269 a couple (yes that's not per person, but per couple) you will get three (3) great days and two (2) nights at the cabins, ALL your meals, coffee and snacks during the workshops, use of the camp facilities, couples pictures in the mountains taken by TBF staff members for your memories, PLUS 8+ hours of blended family fun and informative workshops from some of the leading authorities in the nation on stepfamily dynamics. Where else can you get a hotel, all your food, training and a 'view' like that for $269 per couple.  We say 'Thank You Horn Creek' for delivering a great weekend getaway partnership.

If you are a Grandparent, Family member, Co-Worker or Friend of a Couple you know could use a boost in their blended family situation, consider SPONSORING a couple to this special weekend.

Special Thanks toDestination360 for this pic.

Friday, March 18, 2011

How are your Blended Family world windows?

Blended Family Life can be a place for a 'Fresh Start'
Do YOU know a Stepfamily that could use a boost?
SEE them with 'new windows' from your heart.

*** NOTE *** A struggling couple we are coaching mentioned their 'neighbors', even people at their own church, seemed to be judgmental about their new marriage and blended family.  Even felt like they were being 'whispered' about. This hurts. Anyone who has walked through divorce, single parenthood and now perhaps blended family life knows firsthand the sometimes 'branded-ness' (by some) of the situation.  Our tag line is 'from broken to blended to bonded'. Sometimes 'branded' is part of that brokenness. Remember, God doesn't make mistakes. Keep Looking UP!

(First a story I read multiple places online a couple of years ago.
Knew it might serve others one day.)

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. 

"That laundry is not very clean", she said. 
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly. 

Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." 

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.  Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,  the young woman would make the same comments. 

See a Blended Family next door?
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.  I wonder who taught her this." 
The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." 

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

ENCOURAGING 2nd story from scripture... John 8 : 1-12

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

Blended Family Fresh Starts

 But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

My wonderful wife Rebecca often mentions that she wonders if Jesus, as he knelt and was writing in the dust of the ground, was actually writing the 'shortcomings' and 'sins' of the Pharisees.  Or perhaps to share with the woman, right where she is at, that she was free to go and begin anew in her life.  

We certainly understand why God states in Malachi that He hates divorce.  We do too.  The ripples it causes His people for generations is not His plan.  But it is not an unpardonable sin, nor a place where others can condemn if you truly are seeking a 'new beginning'.  SO BE ENCOURAGED!  GOD LOVES YOU!  HAS A GREAT PLAN FOR YOU!  BELIEVE IN HIM!

Whether it's your own house windows or the public square, where is your heart.  Help a marriage, a child, a neighbor, co-worker or fellow church member rise up above their circumstance and see the 'fresh starts' that God offers them.

We are here to help:  www.thebondedfamily.com   We know you can do it.  If God believes in you and is for you, who can be against you?  We'll help you become 'overcomers' in your family setting like you've never believed you could.  We offer practical tips and the inspiration to 'keep on, keepin' on'.   That's the key.  Not just in the techniques but in the special touch and strength of God.

PERHAPS A GRANDPARENT, NEIGHBOR, FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER?   Consider a SPONSORSHIP / SCHOLARSHIP to our upcoming Colorado weekend April 1-3.  Call a family member or some couple you know struggling and say 'we want to send you to Colorado for a fresh start'.  www.tbfcolorado.eventbrite.com

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Blended Families...
Feeling a Little 'Stinky'...
From a Stepfamily Fight.

Get Washed Clean.
Renewed. Redeemed.
'Live Under the Spout'...
 Of God's Showering Love.

Often times in our work surrounding stepfamily dynamics we see a need for 
getting 'refreshed' in the sometimes 'stinky' areas of emotions, feelings and foremost in a persons 'spirit'. Are you living in an blended family household where you feel the 'stinky' consequences of...TOXIC WORDS? OLD WOUNDS? STEPCHILD HURTS? A FORMER SPOUSE (EX)? SIBLING RIVALRY?PRIDE? STUBBORNNESS? EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS? CHILD EQUALITY? JEALOUSY? SPOUSAL UNITY ON ISSUES?

We've found that 80+% of these issues stem from the marriage couple being unprepared for stepfamily dynamics, unmet expectations, emotions running undisciplined and a true lack of an foundational commitment to something bigger than themselves.  We know that faith in God can be and is the best 'foundation' that any stepfamily can stand on.  That's why God said "go share your 'tests' as a 'testimony'".

If you've experienced divorce, remarriage, bringing together children while sharing them with another household, at some point you'll probably walk through many of those above scenarios.  It's part of the reason why the Bible says 'God hates divorce'. (Malachi 2:16)  He doesn't want you to walk through that kind of 'stinky' stuff in life.   Yes... divorce stuff really stinks up a life.  'I know it, you know it and the American people know it.' (famous Bob Dole quote) 

God does hate divorce perhaps for the reasons of the effects of the pain and suffering that the children, parents, grandparents, even the workplace, community and schools go through it.  Yet He doesn't hate YOU.  He loves you.  We want to repeat that so you 'get it'.  You may have walked through divorce, however it is NOT the 'unpardonable' sin. God loves you. He wants joy and peace and a great life for you. Trust in Him.  

GOD IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCES.  Ask God to renew your life, your spirit and your commitment to Him and he will give you 'the desires of your heart'. (Psalm 37:4)   We serve a loving God who does want you to recognize that if one follows His commands and precepts, life will be more joyful and you'll 'see' and 'feel' His love and goodness in a more special way.  And have a 'family' life that shines bright!

Picture God's Grace Pouring on your Family
A longtime friend of mine Dan Madasz once shared an example of thinking of 'God's Grace' being like a shower head.  That people don't 'get under the spigot' of God's goodness to shower us with His love.  Importantly, we don't show our honor and love of God enough and take the action (prayer, trust, honor, praise, etc) that He asks from us, so that we might be blessed by the 'shower' of His love If America prayed, and praised, God as often as we 'showered', we'd have stronger marriages and families and be a much happier nation.
"If America prayed to, and praised, God as often as we 'showered', we'd have much stronger marriages and families... and be a much happier nation."
 In blended families, and at The Bonded Family we share the message, that God CAN take a stepfamily 'from Broken to Blended to BONDED.'  Picture your family if you all were 'stinky' and dirty, and then holding hands, jumped under a giant shower head.  It would be a 'bonding' event and remove the stinky, sticky feeling that sometimes dampens the joy of children and parents and all around.  God does want your family to feel 'fresh', 'renewed' and 'smelling and feeling good'... just like after a shower.

Blended Family 'Shower Power' of God
If you're in a blended family, and working on bonding, consider making THIS 'SHOWER POWER' IMAGE a family discussion during a "BLENDED FAMILY HUDDLE".  Make 'we need some 'shower power' phrase a way of realizing that 'stinky' stuff is going on in your family.  Acknowledge it.  Nothing more powerful then when a 8 yr old blurts out 'we need some shower power here'.  It may just be God using a child to break up the struggle and help your family 'win the moment'.  God Bless You in your 'Shower Power'!

Scripture speaks of God encouraging us to 'wash ourselves' clean in Isaiah 1:16-18

"Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. 'Come now, let us settle the matter,' says the LORD.
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..."                                
Isaiah 1:16-18

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