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Blended Families often seek Encouragement, Hope, Motivation and Insight. Join us here each week for practical & powerful ways to rise up & defeat those challenges that can weaken, damage or destroy your family.
.................... God has a plan for victory for YOU! ....................

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Blended Families...
Feeling a Little 'Stinky'...
From a Stepfamily Fight.

Get Washed Clean.
Renewed. Redeemed.
'Live Under the Spout'...
 Of God's Showering Love.

Often times in our work surrounding stepfamily dynamics we see a need for 
getting 'refreshed' in the sometimes 'stinky' areas of emotions, feelings and foremost in a persons 'spirit'. Are you living in an blended family household where you feel the 'stinky' consequences of...TOXIC WORDS? OLD WOUNDS? STEPCHILD HURTS? A FORMER SPOUSE (EX)? SIBLING RIVALRY?PRIDE? STUBBORNNESS? EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS? CHILD EQUALITY? JEALOUSY? SPOUSAL UNITY ON ISSUES?

We've found that 80+% of these issues stem from the marriage couple being unprepared for stepfamily dynamics, unmet expectations, emotions running undisciplined and a true lack of an foundational commitment to something bigger than themselves.  We know that faith in God can be and is the best 'foundation' that any stepfamily can stand on.  That's why God said "go share your 'tests' as a 'testimony'".

If you've experienced divorce, remarriage, bringing together children while sharing them with another household, at some point you'll probably walk through many of those above scenarios.  It's part of the reason why the Bible says 'God hates divorce'. (Malachi 2:16)  He doesn't want you to walk through that kind of 'stinky' stuff in life.   Yes... divorce stuff really stinks up a life.  'I know it, you know it and the American people know it.' (famous Bob Dole quote) 

God does hate divorce perhaps for the reasons of the effects of the pain and suffering that the children, parents, grandparents, even the workplace, community and schools go through it.  Yet He doesn't hate YOU.  He loves you.  We want to repeat that so you 'get it'.  You may have walked through divorce, however it is NOT the 'unpardonable' sin. God loves you. He wants joy and peace and a great life for you. Trust in Him.  

GOD IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCES.  Ask God to renew your life, your spirit and your commitment to Him and he will give you 'the desires of your heart'. (Psalm 37:4)   We serve a loving God who does want you to recognize that if one follows His commands and precepts, life will be more joyful and you'll 'see' and 'feel' His love and goodness in a more special way.  And have a 'family' life that shines bright!

Picture God's Grace Pouring on your Family
A longtime friend of mine Dan Madasz once shared an example of thinking of 'God's Grace' being like a shower head.  That people don't 'get under the spigot' of God's goodness to shower us with His love.  Importantly, we don't show our honor and love of God enough and take the action (prayer, trust, honor, praise, etc) that He asks from us, so that we might be blessed by the 'shower' of His love If America prayed, and praised, God as often as we 'showered', we'd have stronger marriages and families and be a much happier nation.
"If America prayed to, and praised, God as often as we 'showered', we'd have much stronger marriages and families... and be a much happier nation."
 In blended families, and at The Bonded Family we share the message, that God CAN take a stepfamily 'from Broken to Blended to BONDED.'  Picture your family if you all were 'stinky' and dirty, and then holding hands, jumped under a giant shower head.  It would be a 'bonding' event and remove the stinky, sticky feeling that sometimes dampens the joy of children and parents and all around.  God does want your family to feel 'fresh', 'renewed' and 'smelling and feeling good'... just like after a shower.

Blended Family 'Shower Power' of God
If you're in a blended family, and working on bonding, consider making THIS 'SHOWER POWER' IMAGE a family discussion during a "BLENDED FAMILY HUDDLE".  Make 'we need some 'shower power' phrase a way of realizing that 'stinky' stuff is going on in your family.  Acknowledge it.  Nothing more powerful then when a 8 yr old blurts out 'we need some shower power here'.  It may just be God using a child to break up the struggle and help your family 'win the moment'.  God Bless You in your 'Shower Power'!

Scripture speaks of God encouraging us to 'wash ourselves' clean in Isaiah 1:16-18

"Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. 'Come now, let us settle the matter,' says the LORD.
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..."                                
Isaiah 1:16-18

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