Welcome to a Blog for Blended Families !

Blended Families often seek Encouragement, Hope, Motivation and Insight. Join us here each week for practical & powerful ways to rise up & defeat those challenges that can weaken, damage or destroy your family.
.................... God has a plan for victory for YOU! ....................

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Blended Family Strongholds? What?

Release The Chains

Find StepFamily Joy

Often times we will see in blended families, an unseen stronghold holding the family back from God's wish and desire, and theirs too, to 'bond' and have a truly loving and peaceful family.  A Dad we are coaching asked me the other day..."What do you mean 'stronghold'?"  I explained to him that there was something I've observed over a period of time in his new family's setting.  Something that, based on our personal and professional experience, was holding his family back. The Bible speaks of that as 'discernment', or a sense of something or an atmosphere that surrounds a person or situation.  This Dad said "Gosh, if I don't know what it is, how are we going to work through it?".  I applauded him because he's got the right attitude.  He's Looking UP!  We can tear down strongholds in a family with clear awareness, God's help and strength, and some genuine effort in your marriage and family.

FIRST... TAKE TO HEART WHAT SCRIPTURE SAYS HOW GOD MADE YOU... Psalm 139, verses 13 - 14 are for you to read, re-read and count on.  YOU, and your new family are in God's hands.  He made you.  You are WONDERFULLY made. God doesn't make mistakes so quit trying to think you are one. You are wonderful!
'For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.'
                                          ~ Psalm 139 : 13-14

Let's get back to just what is a stronghold, as indeed you might ask?

The Greek word for STRONGHOLD is 'OCHUROMA', meaning a a large castle, a compelling fortress or a warrior's position of strength.  In ancient battleground terms, a STRONGHOLD means an area where an entrenched power exerts control over an individual, group, generation, or territory.

In 'spiritual warfare', there is clear fertile battleground when it comes to divorce, re-marriage, wounds, brokenness and stepfamily situations.  A stronghold is deception that's taken hold of you or a person in your family's mind. It's an incorrect thinking pattern based on a believed lie.  A lie of the enemy of your family.   A fantastic battle ground for the enemy (satan - never give the dirty dog a capital) who is by his own being wants to take out all joy, togetherness, goodness, happiness in every marriage, child and family.

The wisdom we can find in John 10:10 ...
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
                                           ~~ John 10:10

We come to you now and ask "Are there any strongholds impacting your marriage, family and stepfamily situation that God needs to work on?"  Do you feel like something is working to destroy your marriage, a child or your whole family?

What might it look like?   It's a lot like a heavy chain around your relationship, weighing it down, holding you back from the joy you truly wanted when you formed your new blended family. It could be pride, a stubborn spirit.  An old wound.  That inside your brain voice telling you what's bad about you, your family, a person in your family.  Perhaps for a man or woman some deep anger that surfaces from time to time.  Could be a inability to forgive someone or something.  Might come across as a habit or addiction.  Could be a child that was wounded by one parent and won't allow love to be received.  Could be a deep fear of another breakup of a family.  The list goes on.  Know this.  Those thoughts are not God.  He made you SPECIAL!

We find that the first step, is to recognize and acknowledge the stronghold as a couple or family, talk about the stronghold as the 'enemy' of your family's happiness and not a person in the family.  Then together you can 'break the chain' that holding you back.
In working with families as we serve via The Bonded Family Rebecca and I have observed that the most prolific strongholds and challenges are often ones people don't recognize or know exist.  They just know somethngs wrong.  Why we stress a strong foundation in your relationship with God is that you may not be aware without some special discernment from God, without 'seeing' with new eyes and 'hearing' with new ears.  God can provide that new understanding, powerful healing and your fresh start.  Ask Him in prayer.  Not casually.  Ask Him fervently for healing and a fresh start.
This isn't hocus pocus stuff.  Yes, it's supernatural.  God says so.  Trust Him.  He'll open your eyes IF you let Him.  Not allowing God in your life is a giant stronghold that statistically proves true.  The divorce rate in stepfamilies is 65%+.  When families are attending church and trusting God, that's cut in half.  You choose where you'll trust.

Five Steps to Tearing Down Blended Family Strongholds
1) Take Life Inventory, Recognize, Acknowledge Your Stronghold(s).
2) Commit to one another, forgive, genuinely work toward positive change.  There are no perfect people - Dad's, Mom's or Children.  Let's grow.
3) Read, Listen to CD's, etc, find faith-based help, counseling or coaching.
4) Create a DAILY Prayer List + Time for Husband + Wife TOGETHER.
5) Keep Looking UP!  Hold onto an attitude that God has already design your plan for greatness in your new and special Family.  You are a Winner!  Live it!

Do NOT give up or in.  God's promise are real.  He can and will help you face the strongholds and defeat them if you truly set your heart to doing so. That's up to you.  Excuses are easy.  Even as you read this if you're saying 'it's easy for him to write this, he doesn't know'.  You're right.  But God does.  We've been through probably 95% of the challenges that blended families face in our family.  Our we perfect...NO.  Yet...we know who will win the day.

God is on the throne.  He's already got your solution, the way out, the 'recovery plan' for you and your family.  Do you want help?

God Bless You and Keep Looking UP!

Hey...help us help you.  Visit the BLENDED FAMILY MALL.
Whatever you buy there, a small portion goes to fund scholarships and research for our ministry to people just like you.  From Books to Batteries, Travel to Toasters, CD's to Coupons... there are items there that EVERYDAY YOU USE.  Please click on the BLENDED FAMILY MALL.

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