"This stepfamily stuff stinks!"
American's spend way too little time listening, sharing or communicating with our children. Then At The Bonded Family we suggest at least 7 minutes a day. It goes fast! Make sure your sitting or standing or kneeling (if they are youngsters) and together you are at their eye level. Eyeball to eyeball...NOT giant parent to little kid downward communication arrangement. You'll grow closer at eye level.
It truly can be very hard to be still 'in the moment', yet as a potential 'TBF Family Huddle' discussion item, talk about how words can wound. How things we say in a moment of hurt impact others. Discuss the Golden Rule when it comes to communicating with one another in our family words. Also even how our looks at each other. Ask kids to describe 'Mom or Dad' 'I am not happy look'. That'll bring some laughs. If your family is a 'word picture', 'symbolic' or 'example' type family, pull out a roll or two of DUCT TAPE and say 'Let's try the 'BLENDED FAMILY DUCT TAPE RULE' from here on out. "Who is willing to start watching their words better?"
Get your new family to agree that if you are about to say something...or maybe just said something harsh...go grab the duct tape roll in a way to express that you 'understand' what you said was hurtful and you wish you had duct tape ever your mouth that moment. (**IMPORTANT for 'literal' readers we are NOT recommending duct taping anyones mouth...it's a WORD PICTURE. Smiling for you.)
Often times, the recognize a situation can teach and coach maturity in relationships for our children. After all, we are to 'raise them up in the way they should go.' Mentoring and Coaching our children to 'hold their tongue' when about to be harsh will SERVE THEIR FUTURES WELL.
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TRY THIS! PRINT OFF ANY OF THE ABOVE DUCT TAPE PICTURES. PUT IT ON YOUR REFRIGERATOR OR BULLETIN BOARD AS A FUN REMINDER TO YOUR BLENDED FAMILY....LET'S BOND AND USE KIND WORDS.